Do you feel lost, confused or worried of what your future holds? Well, I’m here to say you’re not alone. I also have been in situations of self-doubt and hopelessness in finding a purpose, as I was constantly obsessing over the idea of being “successful”, and how “I can’t be a failure in life”. Little did I know that this obsession was detrimental.
Personally, living as a boy of a financially stable family in the U.S. I have become accustomed to the culture of the Western World, and caved into the expectation and pressure to succeed that has been created around me. Through teachers, parents, and social media, this pressure was subtly put on me. Thus, making me believe I need to prove something to myself and others around me. This belief was all rooted within my disbelief in my own potential and abilities, so I only lived up to the commands and opinions of those around, even if I didn’t have any true interest or desire to follow them. I found this mindset to be counter-intuitive to developing myself and to progress in life. My self-esteem dropped, and I started to attach myself to my thinking mind. This was a disfavor to all, because when you are calm and mindful is when you are most inspired and creative.
In retrospect, the more dependent you are on these external opinions, the more oblivious you will be to your own current lack of talents, abilities, and accomplishments. If you are reading this and you feel a need for the approval of others, it’s time to put your energy into working on yourself and self-actualization. You only have so much time in life, so do not waste it away.
For starters, I invite you to start by taking a breath and know you have nothing to prove to yourself or others. You are in complete control of your life and decisions.
Ways to developing yourself:
-Be honest to yourself and others
-Explore new things
-Get out of your comfort zone as much as possible
-Detach yourself on what others think about you (this means good and bad thoughts of others)
-Meditate (This will allow you to be more aware of your thoughts and emotions, instead of attaching yourself to them)
Self-actualize- “the desire for self-fulfillment, namely the tendency for [the individual] to become actualized in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming.” -Abraham Maslow
Now, lets talk about how to find your purpose in life. Firstly, you cannot force your mind to try and find your true purpose, since your purpose will come naturally and only through action. Usually, it will come about unexpectedly and out of no where, so you cannot think your way into it. Through developing yourself and getting to know yourself better, your desires will become more clear to you. Lastly, trust your body (heart, gut) and be more instinctive with your decisions, because that is when you can make some of the best decisions in your life.
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” -Steve Jobs